I really miss you, probably
never visit
your grave site.
doesn't really
make much sense.
Being here
not being here doesn't
really
make much sense.
going there
with…there—-
—all of it, there.
it just make it, less.
and making a mess of myself
there,
feels
like it just make it,
less.
I can still talk to you.
we haven't talked
in a decade.
doesn't seem
fair to
you, to talk to you now, since
I can't
listen? No,
I'm not why he died. But
I feel
like part of
why
you're not alive.
It's because you weren't alive
in my life&
I wish, or as I wished.
I had no more room for you
while you
were here.
I always loved you, still!
I still miss you.
Wish I could have been
there.
I hope it was——
felt good,
it didn't hurt&
like free, it felt like freedom.
I hope you
get this
message From, me.
